Let truth be told…. I am having a moment…. I actually think that I can’t understand why god created men and women so differently – and sometimes why he had to make me a woman who had to live with a man…..
Now seriously – I am not angry, at anyone in particular. Really just feeling cynical about things in general.
The time is 9:15pm, I woke up at 6:30am to feed a child – get dressed, dress the child, organize her food for the day, take out food for us for supper – rushed off to work – where I am training a young man – who was patiently waiting for me to tell him what he should do today – where I worked till 5pm, then came home – took the washing off the line, helped my devoted husband make some supper (he did start making it, got to give him his due, and he fed the dogs) – prepared bones for the dogs, bath and dress the child, feed the child supper – serve dinner, clean up after the husband, make tea, wind the child down for bed, put the child to sleep – set up the laptop, carry on working writing exciting specs and am sure to be here for another 2 hours before going to bed….
You see the thought just struck me that men, seem to be gratification driven… basically they always do things that they enjoy – my husband at the moment is sprawled out on the couch, playing solitaire on his Cellphone, eating chocolate Easter eggs (that someone gave me for my birthday), scratching his crotch…. And I am pissed off at myself for not being more like my husband….
I guess it doesn’t help that I have been on a diet for the last two months – which probably also explains my rattiness…. All I would really die for at this very moment is a peanut butter sandwich (with honey…) I know it sounds yugh – but after living ‘high protein’ for two months ….. it sounds like heaven to me….
I just went to vent my frustrations to old hubby dearest, who quickly hid the other 2 Easter eggs he was planning on eating, and promptly thought he would cheer me up by putting his hand up my skirt…. Explanation – ‘I wanted to give you some gratification!’
Yeah right…. As though that would do it! Actually, if that did it for me, I probably would be a lot happier person. Isn’t it ironic, that a cup of tea and a foot rub – is really more on the right track…..
My gynea the other day, told me that God had a sick sense of humour – by the time a man and a woman get their sex drives in synch, they will both be 90 – and then the body just cant handle anymore…..
So yup, what am I learning from this vent?????? That I NEED to be more gratification driven… So tomorrow, I am going to make a concerted effort to do at least one thing that will really make me happy. Actually why wait till tomorrow? Forget the other two hours of work, hello bubble bath, in candlelight…. And maybe I should make it a tradition….
PS. Some background to this chuckle…. I found this hidden in some notes on my laptop. Written a whole 15 years ago! Which is actually scary to say out loud. I wasn’t writing then, it was just a venting moment. My daughter was 8 months old, I had gone back to work and really wasn’t coping. A new mother, trying to juggle many things. I was trying to be what I thought a mom and a wife and a career woman, should be. And I honestly wasn’t doing so well. In hindsight, a definite touch of postpartum blues.. When I found this, I thought it was probably what most new mothers think or go through at some point. The good thing is that we survive, and no matter what, we should never lose our sense of humour.
Read more of my musings at Tanya’s Two Cents