The victim has officially left the building. Watch her go ….. and don’t come back. There is no seat at this table for you dear.
I’ve been caught up in a life is awful, let me go off-and-eat-worms moment (or should I rather say moments).
The energy vampires have been feasting. Not only on my body but on my mind. And as you can guess this is not useful, not helpful and definitely not serving.
As a coach, I see this mode sometimes in my clients. You would think I should have the where-with-all to banish it, when I see it in myself. I’m not a perfect human people!
The good news is that there is a strategy. The question though is that at what point does one take control? How long does one let oneself flounder in this despair? Letting reaction be the norm?
I often think of the book Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom, at times like this… (worth a read if you haven’t yet). As per Morrie, floundering should be NO LONGER than an hour or else you’re a goner.
So inspite of the fact that self-coaching is not always effective (“You cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that created it” – Einstein) there is a little tool which does bring results. It’s called a Completion tool and consists of a couple of questions requiring truly honest answers to get you moving. Brainstorming is what is needed. Ask yourself:
- What do I need to move me from reaction to creation? – because regardless of the doomsday feeling there are things I CAN control and CAN influence.
- Where am I IN STORY? – How do I get Unstuck?
- What can I acknowledge?
- What can I decide?
- What can I let go?
I urge you to try this. It is a simple but effective questioning technique to use when you find yourself stuck. It might just get you out of the mud.
Oh, and most importantly, Commit to it. The mind is an amazing thing, let it conquer your subconscious thoughts one-by-one by being intentional.
You’ll see, no victims eating at your table. You will definitely be seeing the back of them.
PS if you do use this, let me know. I’d like to know how it goes. Ok?
PPS some wonderful quotes from Tuesdays with Morrie
- “Detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it.
- “Don’t cling to things because everything is impermanent.”
- “The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”
- “Accept who you are; and revel in it.”
- “Death ends a life, not a relationship.”
- “The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it.”
- “Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you’re bound to do something else.”
- “As you grow, you learn more. Aging is not just decay…it’s growth. It’s more than the negative that you’re going to die, it’s also the positive that you understand that you’re going to die, and that you live a better life because of it.”
- “Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.”
- “Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others.”
Read more of my musings at Tanya’s Two Cents