What was the mark you got?  55%? And that was the lowest mark on your report card?

epicFail1I quickly grabbed my glass of wine and gulped it down.  There must be a mistake! I bit my tongue to hold back the thought regarding the imbecile status of the teacher.  Pretty harsh I know, but right now I’m convinced.

Mom, I think that going forward you shouldn’t help me with my homework anymore

“She must have made a mistake bun, that she couldn’t see my brilliance how much work I… I mean you put into it!” I declared whilst taking another gulp of my chardonnay. “When is the parent teacher evening? I think we need to chat to her.”

Nooo mom, really it is not important.  Next time maybe just advise from afar, okay?

As I climbed into bed that night, I felt incensed.  What did I get so wrong?  I thought I had read the brief and fulfilled it to the T.

Let me divulge.  My daughter had a computer project to do.  A powerpoint presentation for her exam.

Ordinarily, I’m an obedient parent.  Not falling into the common trap of doing my child’s projects.  But when she came to me with tearful puppy dog eyes – how could I turn her down?  I would’ve been a bad mom, don’t you think?

I’ll admit that somewhere along the line I lost the plot. Powerpoint presentations are my speciality. Or so I thought! I’ve done hundreds as part of the work I do. And I took over.  Sending her to bed whilst reassuring her that I would do a great job.  Smug in the knowledge that I would revert to cool mom status after this.

Sigh! My fellow parents. How quickly we can fall from grace.  If you ever feel tempted to do this, my suggestion is:  Practice the Pause. And don’t don’t don’t do it!  Rather withdraw gracefully after you’ve hit the grade 3 spelling bee.

It may just save you some humiliation and a blow to your self-confidence.  Not to mention your child arriving at the conclusion that you are actually NOT smarter than a 5th grader!


Ps I’m still telling myself that the project was sooooo brilliant that the teacher could tell it was done by the parent.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it 😉